Dad jokes have a special place in the world of humor. They are simple, pun-filled, often groan-worthy, but always delivered with love. Whether you’re a dad looking to expand your repertoire or just someone who enjoys a good chuckle (or eye-roll), these 173 latest dad jokes are sure to brighten your day. Get ready to laugh, cringe, and share these fresh one-liners that keep the dad joke tradition alive and well in 2025.
173 Latest Dad Jokes That’ll Make You Cringe and Cry-Laugh
1. Why did the golfer get a new pair of pants? Because he got a hole-in-one.
2. How long is a piece of string? Twice as long as half of it.
3. My wife was sick of my bad sense of direction. We always fought about it. So I packed up my bags and right.
4. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
5. Did you hear about that person who was afraid to jump a hurdle? They got over it.
6. Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero.
7. What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live stream it.
8. Why did the broom decide to go to bed? It was sweepy.
9. What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
10. Why is it hard to understand volunteers? Because they make no cents.
11. What’s the easiest way to burn 1,000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.
12. What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
13. When did they find water on the moon? When it was waning.
14. What’s the difference between a “Dad joke” and a “bad joke”? The direction of the first letter.
15. I have a joke about banking, but I lost interest.
16. To the person who stole my place in line: I’m after you now.
17. Where should you never take a dog? The flea market.
18. What do you call a shoe made out of a banana peel? A slipper.
19. I have a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t get it.
20. I have a joke about the flu, but I hope you don’t get it.
21. How did I know my girlfriend thought I was invading her privacy? She wrote about it in her diary.
22. I got a new pen that can write underwater. It can write other things too.
23. Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course. A house can’t jump.
24. How do you make a fire with two sticks? Make sure one’s a match.
25. What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
26. Batteries aren’t flat. They’re round.
27. I named my horse mayo. Mayo naise.
28. Why did Dad burn the Hawaiian pizza? He should’ve used aloha temperature.
29. Did you pick your nose? No. I was born with it.
30. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet – I just don’t know y.
31. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
32. Did you hear that laughing too loudly is illegal in Hawaii? They only permit a-low-ha.
33. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
34. I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting in the middle of identical twins — I couldn’t differentiate them.
35. I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
36. I finally watched a documentary about clocks. It was about time.
37. A guy walked into a bar, and lost the limbo contest.
38. Can anyone tell me what oblivious means, because I have no idea.
39. What’s green and has wheels? Grass! I lied about the wheels.
40. What do you call a line of dads waiting to get haircuts? The barberqueue.
41. Why are balloons so big? Inflation!
42. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
43. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
44. Why can’t you ever run through a campsite? You can only ran – it’s always past tents.
45. What did the pineapple say to the banana? Nothing. Pineapples can’t talk.
46. Why are pigs bad drivers? They’re road hogs.
47. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.
48. What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? Broom broom.
49. What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open-toad sandals.
50. I just built an ATM that only gives out coins.
51. I was going to tell a joke about the layoffs, but sadly none of them work.
52. What’s the hardest tea to swallow? Reality.
53. Why did the employee at the calendar company get fired? He took a day off.
54. I was raised as an only child. It drove my sister nuts.
55. Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
56. You don’t need a parachute to go sky-diving. You need one to go sky-diving twice.
57. It’s not easy being a mom. Otherwise, dads would do it.
58. My dog just ate a $100 bill. I guess he has expensive taste.
59. The guy who stole my diary went missing. My thoughts are with his family.
60. What did the cow say to the leather chair? “Hi, Mom!”
61. I’d love to have kids one day. But that’s as long as I can handle them.
62. Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off now.
63. My resume is a list of things I hope I never have to do again.
64. Why did the social media manager break up with her boyfriend? Lack of engagement.
65. My wife always complains that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
66. I threw a boomerang months ago. Now I live in constant fear.
67. “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing…but not at a funeral.
68. I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I thought it would be rude to interrupt her.
69. A woman passed out on the merry-go-round. She’s coming around.
70. There was a break-in at the wig factory. Police are combing the area.
71. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
72. Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it’s just water.
73. Why should you never throw grandpa’s false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
74. Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.
75. What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator? Don’t hate me because I’m a little cooler.
76. What do you do to have a space party? You planet.
77. Why couldn’t the tree get on his computer? Because he could not log on.
78. What’s a skeleton’s favorite type of road? A dead end.
79. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just a little wine.
80. What did the alien say to the landscaper? Take me to your weeder.
81. Me: “I want to write when I grow up.” Dad: “Why don’t you left instead?”
82. How many apples grow on an apple tree? All of them.
83. What did Elvis say to his landscaper? Thank you for the mulch!
84. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out!
85. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? Time to go to sweep.
86. The other day I was attacked by a bunch of circus clowns in a parking lot. I won though, cause I went right for the juggler.
87. I’d like to shout out sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.
88. What did the computer go to the doctor? Because he had a virus.
89. How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear.
90. Did you hear about the famous pickle? He’s a really big dill.
91. I went on Amazon to buy a lighter but all they had were 3,472 matches.
92. What do you need to make a highway in an art studio? A mile marker.
93. Why did the baseball player get fired? He ran 3 bases then walked home.
94. Why don’t fish play basketball? Because they’re scared of the net.
95. Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!
96. What does a sprinter eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!
97. My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line.
98. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!
99. Where do basketball players go when they need a uniform? New Jersey.
100. Why don’t football players wear glasses? It’s a contact sport.
101. What’s the best animal in soccer? A score-pion.
102. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby? One takes a snap, one takes a nap.
103. I used to be addicted to basketball, but I rebounded.
104. Why can’t pigs play soccer? They hog the ball.
105. Why shouldn’t you play tennis in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
106. What does a sports fan have in common with an angry chicken? A foul mouth.
107. Why couldn’t the baby score in basketball? He was always dribbling.
108. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
109. How do you get a good price on a sled? You have toboggan.
110. How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree? By its bark.
111. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
112. It’s inappropriate to make a ‘dad joke’ if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.
113. What do you call a hot dog on wheels? Fast food!
114. Where do young trees go to learn? Elementree school.
115. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.
116. Can February March? No, but April May!
117. How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya!
118. Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.
119. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
120. Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.
121. I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
122. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
123. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
124. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
125. Did you hear about the wig thief who escaped from prison? Police are combing the area to find him.
126. Why did the spider enroll in art school? He wanted to be a web designer.
127. What do you call a chilly dog? A chili dog.
128. I put my car in reverse and said, “Wow, this really takes me back!”
129. I told my mom I’d call her later, but she said she prefers “Mom.”
130. Why do sweaters hang out together? They’re close-knit.
131. What’s the best way to get to the hospital after breaking your foot? Tow truck!
132. What did the buffalo say to her son on the first day of school? “Bison!”
133. Why do ducks have feathers on their tails? To hide their butt quacks.
134. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
135. I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap.
136. What happens when a mussel has an accident? It becomes a clamity.
137. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
138. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
139. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
140. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
141. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
142. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
143. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
144. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
145. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
146. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
147. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
148. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
149. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
150. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
151. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
152. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
153. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
154. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
155. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
156. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
157. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
158. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
159. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
160. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
161. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
162. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
163. Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on sleep.
164. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
165. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
166. What do you call a snowman with a carrot nose? Frosty the nose man.
167. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
168. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
169. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
170. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
171. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
172. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
173. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
Conclusion
These 173 latest dad jokes prove that the art of the dad joke is alive and well in 2025. They are simple, punny, and sometimes delightfully silly, perfect for sharing with family and friends to spark laughter and light-hearted moments. Whether you’re a dad, a kid, or just a fan of good-natured humor, these jokes are sure to keep the tradition going strong. So go ahead, share a dad joke today — because sometimes, the best way to bond is with a good groaner.
