Dad jokes have a special place in the world of humor — they are delightfully corny, often weird, and irresistibly punny. Whether you love them or dread them, these jokes are the hallmark of dad humor, delivering laughs with a side of eye-rolls. In this article, we present 162+ of the weirdest dad jokes that will brighten your day with their quirky charm. Get ready for a rollercoaster of puns, wordplay, and downright silly humor that only dads can master!
The 162+ Weirdest Dad Jokes You’ll Regret Laughing At
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
4. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
5. I would tell you a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
6. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
7. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
8. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
9. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
10. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
11. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
12. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
13. What do you call a man who tells dad jokes but isn’t a dad? A faux pa.
14. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
15. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
16. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
17. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
18. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
19. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
20. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
21. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
22. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
23. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
24. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
25. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
26. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
27. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
28. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
29. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
30. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
31. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
32. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
33. Why did the bicycle keep falling over? It was two tired.
34. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
35. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.
36. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
37. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
38. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
39. Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
40. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune.
41. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
42. Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep.
43. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
44. What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales? A snow-fibber.
45. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with him.
46. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
47. Why did the bicycle fall asleep? Because it was two tired.
48. What do you call a chicken who tells jokes? A comedi-hen.
49. Why did the calendar go to therapy? It felt its days were numbered.
50. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
51. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
52. What do you call a bear that’s stuck in the rain? A drizzly bear.
53. Why did the man bring a ladder to the bar? Because the drinks were on the house.
54. What do you call a fish that can’t swim? A dead fish.
55. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
56. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
57. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
58. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
59. Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
60. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
61. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
62. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador.
63. Why did the golfer bring extra pants? In case he got a hole in one.
64. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob.
65. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
66. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
67. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
68. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
69. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
70. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
71. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
72. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
73. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
74. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
75. Why did the calendar go to therapy? It felt its days were numbered.
76. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
77. Why did the man bring a ladder to the bar? Because the drinks were on the house.
78. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
79. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
80. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
81. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
82. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
83. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
84. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
85. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
86. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
87. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
88. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
89. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
90. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
91. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
92. Why did the bicycle keep falling over? It was two tired.
93. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
94. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.
95. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
96. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
97. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
98. Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
99. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune.
100. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
101. Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep.
102. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
103. What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales? A snow-fibber.
104. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with him.
105. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
106. Why did the bicycle fall asleep? Because it was two tired.
107. What do you call a chicken who tells jokes? A comedi-hen.
108. Why did the calendar go to therapy? It felt its days were numbered.
109. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
110. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
111. What do you call a bear that’s stuck in the rain? A drizzly bear.
112. Why did the man bring a ladder to the bar? Because the drinks were on the house.
113. What do you call a fish that can’t swim? A dead fish.
114. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
115. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
116. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
117. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
118. Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
119. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
120. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
121. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador.
122. Why did the golfer bring extra pants? In case he got a hole in one.
123. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob.
124. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
125. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
126. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
127. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
128. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
129. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
130. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
131. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
132. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
133. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
134. Why did the calendar go to therapy? It felt its days were numbered.
135. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
136. Why did the man bring a ladder to the bar? Because the drinks were on the house.
137. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
138. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
139. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
140. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
141. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
142. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
143. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
144. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
145. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
146. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
147. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
148. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
149. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
150. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
151. Why did the bicycle keep falling over? It was two tired.
152. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
153. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.
154. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
155. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
156. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
157. Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
158. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune.
159. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
160. Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep.
161. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
162. What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales? A snow-fibber.
163. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with him.
164. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Conclusion
There you have it — over 162 of the weirdest dad jokes that range from punny to downright bizarre. These jokes are perfect for lightening the mood, sharing a laugh with family, or just enjoying the uniquely quirky humor that dads bring to the table. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just a fan of dad jokes, these gems are sure to keep you chuckling (or groaning) for a long time. Remember, the best dad jokes are the ones that make you smile and shake your head at the same time!
