Dad jokes are famously groan-worthy, simple, and pun-filled. Add a little liquid courage, and suddenly, those jokes become even more entertaining—sometimes unintentionally hilarious, sometimes delightfully silly. Whether you’re at a family gathering, a casual night out, or just looking to lighten the mood after a few drinks, drunk dad jokes are the perfect blend of humor and charm. Here, we present over 157 of the best drunk dad jokes that will have everyone laughing, cringing, and asking for more. Get ready to raise your glass and your spirits!
157+ Drunk Dad Jokes So Bad, You’ll Spill Your Beer Laughing
1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms when they’re drunk? Because they make up everything, even excuses.
2. I told my wife I was going to stop drinking, but I’m just on a liquid diet now.
3. What do you call a drunk guy who’s lost his keys? A sober locksmith.
4. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down—especially after a few drinks.
5. Why did the beer go to school? To become a little brrrr-ighter.
6. I asked the bartender if I could get a double. He said, “You already are one.”
7. What’s a pirate’s favorite cocktail? Rum and Arrrrr!
8. I tried to make a joke about tequila, but it went straight to my head.
9. Why did the drunk dad bring a ladder to the bar? Because the drinks were on the house.
10. I told the bartender, “I’ll have what’s on the rocks.” He gave me a cold shoulder.
11. What do you call a drunk guy who can’t hold his liquor? A spill-tacular performer.
12. Why don’t drunk dads ever get lost? Because they always follow the “beer” trail.
13. I was going to tell a joke about wine, but it’s a little dry.
14. Why did the drunk dad sit on the clock? He wanted to be on time.
15. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it—preferably with a beer in hand.
16. What do you call a drunk dad who can’t find his keys? A “lost cause.”
17. I told my friends I was on a whiskey diet. I lost three days already.
18. Why did the drunk dad bring a pencil to the bar? To draw some attention.
19. What do you call a cocktail that tells jokes? A pun-chline.
20. Why did the drunk dad cross the road? To get to the other bar.
21. I tried to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are hard to find—especially after a few drinks.
22. Why did the bottle go to therapy? It couldn’t handle being half empty.
23. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite exercise? The “bar”bell curl.
24. Why don’t drunk dads ever get tired? Because they’re always on “tap.”
25. I told my wife I was on a seafood diet. I see food and drink it.
26. What do you call a drunk dad who tells dad jokes? A “pint” of fun.
27. Why did the wine glass break up with the beer mug? It felt they were on different levels.
28. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
29. Why did the drunk dad take a nap on the bar? He wanted to catch some “Zzz’s” and “beers.”
30. What do you call a drunk dad who loves puns? A “souse” of humor.
31. Why did the bartender break up with the cocktail? It was too mixed up.
32. I told the bartender I’d like a “light” drink. He handed me a flashlight.
33. Why did the drunk dad bring a map to the bar? To find his way back home.
34. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite type of music? Rock and “roll”s.
35. Why did the beer blush? Because it saw the bartender’s “draft.”
36. I tried to tell a joke about beer, but it went flat.
37. Why did the drunk dad bring a chair to the bar? To have a “seat” at the party.
38. What do you call a cocktail that’s always calm? A “margarita” chill.
39. Why don’t drunk dads ever get cold? Because they’re always “on the rocks.”
40. I told my friends I’d quit drinking, but I’m just taking a “sip” break.
41. Why did the whiskey file a police report? It got mugged.
42. What do you call a drunk dad with a sense of direction? Lost, but confident.
43. Why did the drunk dad bring a flashlight to the bar? In case the drinks went dark.
44. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite game? “Buzz”word bingo.
45. I told the bartender, “Surprise me.” He gave me a mirror.
46. Why did the beer go to therapy? It had too many “bottled” emotions.
47. What do you call a drunk dad who loves fishing? A “reel” party animal.
48. Why did the cocktail break up with the beer? It couldn’t handle the “bitter” truth.
49. I tried to make a joke about vodka, but it went straight to my head.
50. Why did the drunk dad bring a towel to the bar? In case things got “messy.”
51. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite holiday? St. “Paddy’s” Day.
52. Why did the bartender refuse to serve the drunk dad? Because he was already “on the rocks.”
53. I told my wife I was going to cut back on drinking. She said, “That’s a tall order.”
54. What do you call a drunk dad who’s a great dancer? A “booze” cruiser.
55. Why did the beer go to school? To get a little “hoppier.”
56. I tried to tell a joke about cocktails, but it was too mixed up.
57. Why did the drunk dad bring a notebook to the bar? To write down his “spirited” ideas.
58. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite type of joke? One that’s “on the rocks.”
59. Why did the whiskey break up with the beer? It was tired of the “foam” and games.
60. I told the bartender I wanted something strong. He handed me a dictionary.
61. Why don’t drunk dads ever get lost? Because they follow the “beer” signs.
62. What do you call a drunk dad who’s always happy? A “cheer”leader.
63. Why did the cocktail blush? Because it saw the “mixer.”
64. I tried to make a joke about rum, but it was too “spirited.”
65. Why did the drunk dad bring a hat to the bar? To keep his “head” in the game.
66. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite sport? “Bar” billiards.
67. Why did the beer get promoted? Because it was “lager” than life.
68. I told my friends I was going on a beer cleanse. They said, “Good luck.”
69. Why did the drunk dad bring a camera to the bar? To capture the “spirits.”
70. What do you call a cocktail that’s always late? A “slow gin.”
71. Why don’t drunk dads ever get cold? Because they’re always “toasty.”
72. I told the bartender I wanted a “light” drink. He gave me a candle.
73. Why did the whiskey go to school? To get a little “schooled.”
74. What do you call a drunk dad who’s a great singer? A “booze” crooner.
75. Why did the beer blush? Because it saw the “barley.”
76. I tried to tell a joke about gin, but it was too “dry.”
77. Why did the drunk dad bring a clock to the bar? To keep “time” with the drinks.
78. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite movie? “The Hangover.”
79. Why did the cocktail break up with the whiskey? It couldn’t handle the “bite.”
80. I told my wife I was going to quit drinking. She said, “You’ve got to be kidding.”
81. What do you call a drunk dad who loves to cook? A “sous” chef.
82. Why did the beer go to the gym? To get “hopped” up.
83. I tried to make a joke about cocktails, but it was too “mixed.”
84. Why did the drunk dad bring a pen to the bar? To sign off on the fun.
85. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite dance? The “boogie” on the bar.
86. Why did the whiskey get a job? To pay for the “spirits.”
87. I told the bartender I wanted a “strong” drink. He gave me a handshake.
88. Why don’t drunk dads ever get lost? Because they follow the “buzz.”
89. What do you call a drunk dad who’s always smiling? A “happy hour” hero.
90. Why did the cocktail blush? Because it got “shaken.”
91. I tried to make a joke about beer, but it was too “frothy.”
92. Why did the drunk dad bring a blanket to the bar? To keep warm during the “cold ones.”
93. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite holiday? “New Year’s Eve.”
94. Why did the bartender refuse to serve the drunk dad? Because he was already “tapped out.”
95. I told my wife I was going to cut back on drinking. She said, “That’s a tall order.”
96. What do you call a drunk dad who’s a great dancer? A “booze” cruiser.
97. Why did the beer go to school? To get a little “hoppier.”
98. I tried to tell a joke about cocktails, but it was too mixed up.
99. Why did the drunk dad bring a notebook to the bar? To write down his “spirited” ideas.
100. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite type of joke? One that’s “on the rocks.”
101. Why did the whiskey break up with the beer? It was tired of the “foam” and games.
102. I told the bartender I wanted something strong. He handed me a dictionary.
103. Why don’t drunk dads ever get lost? Because they follow the “beer” signs.
104. What do you call a drunk dad who’s always happy? A “cheer”leader.
105. Why did the cocktail blush? Because it saw the “mixer.”
106. I tried to make a joke about rum, but it was too “spirited.”
107. Why did the drunk dad bring a hat to the bar? To keep his “head” in the game.
108. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite sport? “Bar” billiards.
109. Why did the beer get promoted? Because it was “lager” than life.
110. I told my friends I was going on a beer cleanse. They said, “Good luck.”
111. Why did the drunk dad bring a camera to the bar? To capture the “spirits.”
112. What do you call a cocktail that’s always late? A “slow gin.”
113. Why don’t drunk dads ever get cold? Because they’re always “toasty.”
114. I told the bartender I wanted a “light” drink. He gave me a candle.
115. Why did the whiskey go to school? To get a little “schooled.”
116. What do you call a drunk dad who’s a great singer? A “booze” crooner.
117. Why did the beer blush? Because it saw the “barley.”
118. I tried to tell a joke about gin, but it was too “dry.”
119. Why did the drunk dad bring a clock to the bar? To keep “time” with the drinks.
120. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite movie? “The Hangover.”
121. Why did the cocktail break up with the whiskey? It couldn’t handle the “bite.”
122. I told my wife I was going to quit drinking. She said, “You’ve got to be kidding.”
123. What do you call a drunk dad who loves to cook? A “sous” chef.
124. Why did the beer go to the gym? To get “hopped” up.
125. I tried to make a joke about cocktails, but it was too “mixed.”
126. Why did the drunk dad bring a pen to the bar? To sign off on the fun.
127. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite dance? The “boogie” on the bar.
128. Why did the whiskey get a job? To pay for the “spirits.”
129. I told the bartender I wanted a “strong” drink. He gave me a handshake.
130. Why don’t drunk dads ever get lost? Because they follow the “buzz.”
131. What do you call a drunk dad who’s always smiling? A “happy hour” hero.
132. Why did the cocktail blush? Because it got “shaken.”
133. I tried to make a joke about beer, but it was too “frothy.”
134. Why did the drunk dad bring a blanket to the bar? To keep warm during the “cold ones.”
135. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite holiday? “New Year’s Eve.”
136. Why did the bartender refuse to serve the drunk dad? Because he was already “tapped out.”
137. I told my wife I was going to cut back on drinking. She said, “That’s a tall order.”
138. What do you call a drunk dad who’s a great dancer? A “booze” cruiser.
139. Why did the beer go to school? To get a little “hoppier.”
140. I tried to tell a joke about cocktails, but it was too mixed up.
141. Why did the drunk dad bring a notebook to the bar? To write down his “spirited” ideas.
142. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite type of joke? One that’s “on the rocks.”
143. Why did the whiskey break up with the beer? It was tired of the “foam” and games.
144. I told the bartender I wanted something strong. He handed me a dictionary.
145. Why don’t drunk dads ever get lost? Because they follow the “beer” signs.
146. What do you call a drunk dad who’s always happy? A “cheer”leader.
147. Why did the cocktail blush? Because it saw the “mixer.”
148. I tried to make a joke about rum, but it was too “spirited.”
149. Why did the drunk dad bring a hat to the bar? To keep his “head” in the game.
150. What’s a drunk dad’s favorite sport? “Bar” billiards.
151. Why did the beer get promoted? Because it was “lager” than life.
152. I told my friends I was going on a beer cleanse. They said, “Good luck.”
153. Why did the drunk dad bring a camera to the bar? To capture the “spirits.”
154. What do you call a cocktail that’s always late? A “slow gin.”
155. Why don’t drunk dads ever get cold? Because they’re always “toasty.”
156. I told the bartender I wanted a “light” drink. He gave me a candle.
157. Why did the whiskey go to school? To get a little “schooled.”
158. What do you call a drunk dad who’s a great singer? A “booze” crooner.
159. Why did the beer blush? Because it saw the “barley.”
160. I tried to tell a joke about gin, but it was too “dry.”
Conclusion
Drunk dad jokes are a timeless way to bring humor to any social setting. Their simple, pun-filled nature makes them easy to remember and share, especially after a few drinks loosen up the crowd. Whether you’re the dad telling the jokes or the friend enjoying them, these 157+ drunk dad jokes are guaranteed to keep the laughter flowing and the good times rolling. So next time you’re at the bar or a party, whip out one of these jokes and watch the smiles grow. Cheers to humor and good company!
