Dad jokes have a special place in the world of humor. They are famously corny, delightfully punny, and always clean, making them perfect for all ages. In 2025, these jokes continue to bring smiles, groans, and chuckles to families, friends, and even strangers. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood at a family dinner, entertain kids on a road trip, or just enjoy some wholesome fun, the best clean dad jokes never fail to deliver. Here, we present the 142 best clean dad jokes of 2025, guaranteed to brighten your day with simple, clever humor.
142 Best Clean Dad Jokes 2025 That’ll Make You Groan Forever
1. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they’d crack each other up!
2. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
3. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems!
4. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
5. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
7. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
8. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory!
9. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
10. Why couldn’t the tree get on his computer? Because he could not log on.
11. What’s a skeleton’s favorite type of road? A dead end.
12. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just a little wine.
13. What did the alien say to the landscaper? Take me to your weeder.
14. How many apples grow on an apple tree? All of them.
15. What did Elvis say to his landscaper? Thank you for the mulch!
16. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out!
17. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? Time to go to sweep.
18. The other day I was attacked by a bunch of circus clowns in a parking lot. I won though, cause I went right for the juggler.
19. I’d like to shout out sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.
20. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because he had a virus.
21. How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear.
22. Did you hear about the famous pickle? He’s a really big dill.
23. I went on Amazon to buy a lighter but all they had were 3,472 matches.
24. What do you need to make a highway in an art studio? A mile marker.
25. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
26. How do you get a good price on a sled? You have toboggan.
27. How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree? By its bark.
28. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
29. It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.
30. What do you call a hot dog on wheels? Fast food!
31. Where do young trees go to learn? Elementree school.
32. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.
33. Can February March? No, but April May!
34. How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya!
35. Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.
36. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
37. Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.
38. I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
39. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
40. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
41. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
42. What did the crocodile wear to the beach? Crocs.
43. Why are barcodes printed on the sides of Norwegian battleships? So when they come into port they can Scandinavian.
44. Why don’t pirates travel on mountain roads? Scurvy.
45. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye deer.
46. What did the police say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.
47. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on a head.
48. A magician was walking down the street, but then he turned into a store.
49. I can tolerate algebra, maybe even calculus, but geometry is where I draw the line.
50. I was going to go on an expensive vacation with a classical pianist, but he’s too baroque.
51. Did you hear about the king who was exactly 12 inches tall? He was a great ruler.
52. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forrest1.
53. What do you call a guy just laying on the floor in front of a door? Matt!
54. What happened when the French cheese factory exploded? Da brie was everywhere!
55. Watch what you say around egg whites. They can’t take a yolk.
56. What’s the best way to save your dad jokes? In a Dadda-base.
57. Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But cats can.
58. Why couldn’t the produce manager make it to work? He could drive, but didn’t avocado.
59. Why is my wallet like an onion? Every time I open it, I cry.
60. I was going to try an almond diet, but that’s just nuts.
61. I tried to make up a joke about a ghost but couldn’t. It had plenty of spirit but no body.
62. What do you call a dog who meditates? Aware wolf.
63. If your house is always cold, stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.
64. What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalepeño business.
65. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved.
66. Why didn’t the toilet roll cross the road? Because he got stuck in the crack.
67. I have a joke about being a rejected organ donor, but I just don’t have the guts to tell it.
68. Why was the nose sad? It was getting picked on.
69. What do you call bees that produce milk instead of honey? Boo-bees.
70. I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with. She said yes, all the rest had been nines and tens.
71. I believe that protection should be used at every conceivable location.
72. What’s Santa’s favorite state to visit? Ida Ho Ho Ho.
73. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
74. Why does a duck have feathers? To cover up his butt quack.
75. What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.
76. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged.
77. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
78. Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
79. My wife asked me to spoon in bed, but I’d rather fork.
80. Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
81. What do you call someone who is a master at baiting? A skilled seaman.
82. How does a rock pee? He Dwaynes his Johnson.
83. What’s the best thing about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
84. Why is it so hard to argue with a woman not wearing a bra? She’s already made two great points.
85. What do you call a horny cow? Beef jerky.
86. Why did Piglet have his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh.
87. Why do chickens wear underwear on their heads? Because their pecker is on their face.
88. What’s six inches long and has two nuts at the end? An Almond Joy.
89. How do you make a fire with two sticks? Make sure one’s a match.
90. What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
91. Batteries aren’t flat. They’re round.
92. I named my horse Mayo. Mayo naise.
93. Why did Dad burn the Hawaiian pizza? He should’ve used aloha temperature.
94. Did you pick your nose? No. I was born with it.
95. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet – I just don’t know y.
96. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
97. Did you hear that laughing too loudly is illegal in Hawaii? They only permit a-low-ha.
98. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
99. I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting in the middle of identical twins — I couldn’t differentiate them.
100. I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
101. I finally watched a documentary about clocks. It was about time.
102. A guy walked into a bar, and lost the limbo contest.
103. Can anyone tell me what oblivious means, because I have no idea.
104. What’s green and has wheels? Grass! I lied about the wheels.
105. What do you call a line of dads waiting to get haircuts? The barberqueue.
106. Why are balloons so big? Inflation!
107. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
108. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
109. Why can’t you ever run through a campsite? You can only ran – it’s always past tents.
110. What did the pineapple say to the banana? Nothing. Pineapples can’t talk.
111. Why are pigs bad drivers? They’re road hogs.
112. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
113. I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap.
114. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
115. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
116. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
117. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
118. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
119. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
120. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
121. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
122. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
123. What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.
124. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
125. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
126. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
127. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
128. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
129. How do you organize a fantastic space party? You planet.
130. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
131. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
132. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
133. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
134. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
135. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
136. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
137. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
138. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? A king fish.
139. Why did the mushroom go to the party alone? Because he’s a fungi.
140. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints.
141. What do you call a hot dog on wheels? Fast food.
142. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
Conclusion
This carefully curated list includes a variety of jokes ranging from puns and wordplay to silly scenarios and clever twists. Each joke is designed to be family-friendly and easy to remember, making them perfect for sharing anytime. From classic setups to fresh new jokes, this collection is your go-to source for clean dad humor in 2025. Get ready to laugh, groan, and maybe even roll your eyes in the best way possible!
