Dad jokes are a special breed of humor. They are simple, pun-filled, and often so corny that you can’t help but laugh or groan. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just someone who loves a good (or bad) joke, this collection of 140+ of the most common dad jokes is sure to brighten your day. These jokes rely on wordplay, silly twists, and everyday observations that make them timeless and easy to share. Get ready for some classic one-liners, puns, and playful humor that dads everywhere have been telling for years.
140+ Most Common Dad Jokes That Will Make You LOL!
1. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
2. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
3. Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it’s just water.
4. Why should you never throw grandpa’s false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
5. Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.
6. What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator? Don’t hate me because I’m a little cooler.
7. What do you do to have a space party? You planet.
8. Why couldn’t the tree get on his computer? Because he could not log on.
9. What’s a skeleton’s favorite type of road? A dead end.
10. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just a little wine.
11. What did the alien say to the landscaper? Take me to your weeder.
12. Me: “I want to write when I grow up.” Dad: “Why don’t you left instead?”
13. How many apples grow on an apple tree? All of them.
14. What did Elvis say to his landscaper? Thank you for the mulch!
15. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out!
16. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? Time to go to sweep.
17. The other day I was attacked by a bunch of circus clowns in a parking lot. I won though, cause I went right for the juggler.
18. I’d like to shout out sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.
19. What did the computer go to the doctor? Because he had a virus.
20. How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear.
21. Did you hear about the famous pickle? He’s a really big dill.
22. I went on Amazon to buy a lighter but all they had were 3,472 matches.
23. What do you need to make a highway in an art studio? A mile marker.
24. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
25. I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!
26. What’s the best smelling insect? A deodor-ant.
27. I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice.
28. Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
29. If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
30. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.
31. It takes guts to be an organ donor.
32. If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?
33. I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!
34. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
35. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
36. How do you get a good price on a sled? You have toboggan.
37. How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree? By its bark.
38. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
39. It’s inappropriate to make a ‘dad joke’ if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.
40. What do you call a hot dog on wheels? Fast food!
41. Where do young trees go to learn? Elementree school.
42. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.
43. Can February March? No, but April May!
44. How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya!
45. Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.
46. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
47. Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.
48. I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
49. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
50. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
51. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
52. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!
53. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
54. I’m writing a book about glue, but I’m stuck on the first chapter.
55. Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.
56. Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion in France? All that was left was de-brie.
57. What vegetable is cool, but not that cool? Radish.
58. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of the computer? The space bar.
59. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to go spreading it!
60. Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.
61. What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weekdays.
62. What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea? Their crews were marooned.
63. I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.
64. What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue.
65. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
66. Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web.
67. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
68. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down.
69. Don’t buy velcro, it’s a total rip-off.
70. Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
71. I’m writing a book on procrastination, I’ll finish it later.
72. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but it’s hard to find good players.
73. I’ve just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap.
74. I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
75. I asked my dog what’s the best part about trees, he said ‘bark’.
76. I’m not a big fan of stairs. They’re always up to something.
77. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!
78. I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
79. Parenthood is like a rollercoaster. Sometimes you just have to throw your hands up and enjoy the ride!
80. Parenthood is a total walk in the park… Jurassic Park.
81. Parenthood is just like a game of Jenga… one wrong move and everything falls apart!
82. My kid gave me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. At least she inherited my sense of humor.
83. When a toddler reaches the “why?” stage, it’s like opening a bottle of champagne—once it’s uncorked, there’s no going back.
84. If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
85. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
86. What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!
87. Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because its mother was in a jam.
88. Why did the baby cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long!
89. How do you teach kids about taxes? Eat 38% of their ice cream.
90. Have you heard about the restaurant on the Moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
91. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So, we went out and had a few drinks. Nice guy; he’s a web designer.
92. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? Apparently, he’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
93. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
94. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
95. I have a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
96. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
97. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
98. What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
99. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
100. What do you call bears with no ears? B.
101. “Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” No sun.
102. What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
103. Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand? Because a toothbrush works much better.
104. Why don’t I drink anymore? Because last time, I told my boss exactly what I thought of him. Twice.
105. Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
106. What’s the difference between a man’s wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be.
107. Why did the man bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
108. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.
109. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
110. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One’s really heavy, and the other’s a little lighter.
111. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.
112. What kind of noise does a witch’s car make? Broom broom.
113. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
114. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
115. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
116. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
117. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
118. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
119. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
120. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
121. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
122. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
123. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
124. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
125. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
126. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
127. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
128. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
129. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
130. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
131. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
132. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
133. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
134. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
135. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
136. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
137. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
138. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
139. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with him.
140. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
141. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
142. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
143. Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on sleep.
144. How do you organize a party in space? You planet.
145. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
Conclusion
Dad jokes are a timeless form of humor that rely on simple wordplay, puns, and everyday observations. They are easy to remember and perfect for sharing with family and friends. This collection of 140+ dad jokes covers a wide range of classic themes, from food and animals to space and parenting. Whether you love them or groan at them, dad jokes bring smiles and laughter wherever they go.
Next time you want to lighten the mood or get a quick chuckle, try one of these jokes. They prove that sometimes the simplest humor is the best kind.
