Father’s Day is the perfect occasion to celebrate dads with love, appreciation, and of course, laughter. What better way to honor the king of dad jokes than with a collection of the funniest, corniest, and most groan-worthy jokes tailored just for him? Whether your dad loves puns, silly wordplay, or classic one-liners, this list of 166 hilarious Father’s Day jokes is guaranteed to bring a smile to his face and maybe even a chuckle or two from the rest of the family. Get ready to share these jokes at your Father’s Day gathering or include them in a card for a guaranteed laugh!
166 Funniest Father’s Day Jokes That’ll Break Dad’s Funny Bone!
1. Why did the orange stop halfway across the road? It ran out of juice.
2. What did the accountant say while auditing a document? This is taxing.
3. What’s a groundbreaking Father’s Day gift to give to your dad? A shovel.
4. Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar on Father’s Day? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
5. Why did the dad get an extra pair of golf pants for Father’s Day? He got a hole-in-one.
6. What did the grape say to his dad on Father’s Day? Thanks for raisin me right!
7. What do you call it when Dad falls asleep during his Father’s Day movie? A pop-corn nap.
8. Why did Dad high-five himself on Father’s Day? Because no one appreciates his jokes quite like he does!
9. Did you hear about the insect who received his gift weeks after Father’s Day? It was bee-lated.
10. Why did the dad open the fridge on Father’s Day every five minutes? He was checking if any cool gifts appeared.
11. How much did the moon eat during Father’s Day Dinner? A lot, because it was full.
12. How does Darth Vader like his toast cooked on Father’s Day? On the dark side.
13. Why didn’t the rude cow eat all the food on Father’s Day? Because he was being a beef jerky.
14. How did the dad and his kids watch the fishing show on Father’s Day? They live streamed it.
15. What did the baby computer say to its dad on Father’s Day? Happy Father’s Day, Data!
16. How did the celebrity dad keep his cool on Father’s Day? He had many fans.
17. Why didn’t the dad want to swim with the sharks on Father’s Day? It would cost him an arm and a leg.
18. How much did the son charge his dad for fixing his roof on Father’s Day? Nothing, it was on the house!
19. What does the pig give his dad for Father’s Day? Lots of hogs and kisses.
20. What do hermit crabs do on Father’s Day? Shell-abrate their dads.
21. Why don’t they have Father’s Day sales? Because fathers are priceless.
22. What do you call a person who is not a dad who makes dad jokes? A Faux Pa.
23. What did the cheerleader bring her dad for breakfast on Father’s Day? Cheerios.
24. What’s the best thing a new dad can get for Father’s Day? A long nap.
25. Where did the cow family go on Father’s Day? The moo-vies.
26. Why did the bean children give their dad a sweater for Father’s Day? He was chili.
27. What do nice pirates do on Father’s Day? Take out the garrrrrrrrrrrbage without being asked.
28. What did the puppies make their dad for Father’s Day breakfast? Pooched eggs.
29. Why do sons love Father’s Day so much? Because it’s always on son day (Sunday).
30. What makes more noise than a child jumping on daddy’s bed on Father’s Day morning? Two children jumping on daddy’s bed!
31. What did the Panda give his daddy on Father’s Day? A bear hug.
32. What did the waiter say to the daddy dog when he served Father’s Day dinner? Bone-appetit!
33. What did the martians wear to Father’s Day dinner? Space suits.
34. Why couldn’t the digital clock make dinner for Father’s Day? He had no hands.
35. Why did the kids give their dad a blanket for Father’s Day? Because they thought he was the coolest dad.
36. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
37. Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
38. When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline is apparent!
39. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
40. What’s the downside to birthdays? Too many will kill you.
41. How do you identify a dogwood tree? By its bark.
42. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
43. What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
44. What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
45. What did the horse say after it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.
46. What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner’s on me.
47. Why did the boy bring a ladder on the bus? He wanted to go to high school.
48. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
49. Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
50. What did the baby otter say to its dad? You are a dad like no otter.
51. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Summer wasn’t bad either.
52. When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
53. What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymoose.
54. Why didn’t the sun go to college? It already had a million degrees.
55. Where do cows get their clothes? From cattle-logs.
56. What do you call fake spaghetti? Impasta!
57. Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools.
58. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
59. Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
60. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
61. Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.
62. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
63. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.
64. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
65. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
66. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
67. How do you row a canoe filled with puppies? Bring out the doggy paddle.
68. If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
69. Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
70. What’s a robot’s favorite snack? Computer chips.
71. Can February March? No, but April May!
72. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
73. Why are piggy banks so wise? They’re filled with common cents.
74. I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
75. What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging.
76. How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh? Nothing, it’s on the house.
77. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse.
78. How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree? By its bark.
79. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
80. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
81. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
82. Watch what you say around the egg whites. They can’t take a yolk.
83. I’m so good at fixing things, my motto is, “If it is broke, I’ll still fix it.”
84. Where did the pumpkins have their meeting? In the gourdroom.
85. What’s the best way to save your dad jokes? In a dadda-base.
86. I got a new pen that can write under water. It can write other words too.
87. My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
88. I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
89. What do you call a sheep who can sing and dance? Lady Ba Ba.
90. Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they’re extinct.
91. I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
92. Why should you never take sides in an argument at the dinner table? Trick question. It’s the perfect time to take sides because no one’s paying attention. Bring Tupperware.
93. Who won the neck decorating contest? It was a tie.
94. Where do rainbows go when they’ve been bad? To prism, so they have time to reflect on what they’ve done.
95. Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan.
96. I’m so upset-my barber said he can’t cut my hair any longer. He can only cut it shorter.
97. What do mermaids use to wash their fins? Tide.
98. What did the skillet eat on its birthday? Pan-cakes.
99. Why couldn’t the produce manager make it to work? He could drive, but he didn’t avocado.
100. I went to a silent auction. I won a dog whistle and two mimes.
101. How is my wallet like an onion? Every time I open it, I cry.
102. What do you call a dog who meditates? Aware wolf.
103. What kind of fish do penguins catch at night? Star fish.
104. Which vegetable has the best kung fu? Broc-lee.
105. Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course, a house can’t jump.
106. I was going to try an all almond diet, but that’s just nuts.
107. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
108. Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it’s just water.
109. Why should you never throw grandpa’s false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
110. Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.
111. What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator? Don’t hate me because I’m a little cooler.
112. What do you do to have a space party? You planet.
113. Why couldn’t the tree get on his computer? Because he could not log on.
114. What’s a skeleton’s favorite type of road? A dead end.
115. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just a little wine.
116. What did the alien say to the landscaper? Take me to your weeder.
117. Me: “I want to write when I grow up.” Dad: “Why don’t you left instead?”
118. How many apples grow on an apple tree? All of them.
119. What did Elvis say to his landscaper? Thank you for the mulch!
120. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out!
121. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? Time to go to sweep.
122. The other day I was attacked by a bunch of circus clowns in a parking lot. I won though, cause I went right for the juggler.
123. I’d like to shout out sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.
124. What did the computer go to the doctor? Because he had a virus.
125. How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear.
126. Did you hear about the famous pickle? He’s a really big dill.
127. I went on Amazon to buy a lighter but all they had were 3,472 matches.
128. What do you need to make a highway in an art studio? A mile marker.
129. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.
130. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
131. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
132. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
133. What did the zero say to the eight? That belt looks good on you.
134. A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Hey, bartender. I’ll have one beer and a mop.”
135. Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!
136. I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
137. What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? Where’s Pop Corn?
138. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
139. Where do you learn to make a banana split? Sundae school.
140. What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office!
141. Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
142. What do you call a poor Santa Claus? St. Nickel-less.
143. I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind.
144. Where do boats go when they’re sick? To the boat doc.
145. I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.
146. My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!
147. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.
148. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
149. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
150. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
151. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!
152. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
153. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here! I’m going on ahead.
154. Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones.
155. Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
156. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
157. What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? Yellow!
158. This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.
159. What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen.
160. Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn’t know it was on fire.
161. How does a taco say grace? Lettuce pray.
162. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
163. Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain? It didn’t have the guts.
164. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown.
165. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
166. I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it will get a reaction.
Conclusion
This article compiles 166 of the funniest Father’s Day jokes, ranging from puns about dads and family life to clever plays on words involving everyday objects and situations. These jokes are lighthearted, easy to understand, and perfect for all ages. They celebrate the unique humor that dads bring to the table and are sure to make Father’s Day a memorable and laughter-filled occasion.
