Father’s Day is the perfect time to celebrate dads with laughter, love, and, of course, some truly bad jokes. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or just want to share some classic dad humor, nothing beats a good (or wonderfully bad) Father’s Day joke. These jokes are so corny, so punny, and so delightfully awful that they are sure to get a chuckle-or at least a groan-from dads everywhere. Get ready for 111 of the best worst jokes to honor the dads who appreciate a good pun and a silly punchline.
111 Bad Father’s Day Jokes You’ll Pretend Not to Laugh At
1. Why did Dad high-five himself on Father’s Day? Because no one appreciates his jokes quite like he does!
2. Did you hear about the insect who received his gift weeks after Father’s Day? It was bee-lated.
3. Why did the dad open the fridge on Father’s Day every five minutes? He was checking if any cool gifts appeared.
4. How much did the moon eat during Father’s Day Dinner? A lot, because it was full.
5. How does Darth Vader like his toast cooked on Father’s Day? On the dark side.
6. Why didn’t the rude cow eat all the food on Father’s Day? Because he was being a beef jerky.
7. How did the dad and his kids watch the fishing show on Father’s Day? They live streamed it.
8. What did the baby computer say to its dad on Father’s Day? Happy Father’s Day, Data!
9. How did the celebrity dad keep his cool on Father’s Day? He had many fans.
10. Why didn’t the dad want to swim with the sharks on Father’s Day? It would cost him an arm and a leg.
11. How much did the son charge his dad for fixing his roof on Father’s Day? Nothing, it was on the house!
12. What does the pig give his dad for Father’s Day? Lots of hogs and kisses.
13. What do hermit crabs do on Father’s Day? Shell-abrate their dads.
14. Why don’t they have Father’s Day sales? Because fathers are priceless.
15. What do you call a person who is not a dad who makes dad jokes? A Faux Pa.
16. What did the cheerleader bring her dad for breakfast on Father’s Day? Cheerios.
17. What’s the best thing a new dad can get for Father’s Day? A long nap.
18. Where did the cow family go on Father’s Day? The moo-vies.
19. Why did the bean children give their dad a sweater for Father’s Day? He was chili.
20. What do nice pirates do on Father’s Day? Take out the garrrrrrrrrrrbage without being asked.
21. What did the puppies make their dad for Father’s Day breakfast? Pooched eggs.
22. Why do sons love Father’s Day so much? Because it’s always on son day (Sunday).
23. What makes more noise than a child jumping on daddy’s bed on Father’s Day morning? Two children jumping on daddy’s bed!
24. What did the Panda give his daddy on Father’s Day? A bear hug.
25. What did the waiter say to the daddy dog when he served Father’s Day dinner? Bone-appetit!
26. What did the martians wear to Father’s Day dinner? Space suits.
27. Why couldn’t the digital clock make dinner for Father’s Day? He had no hands.
28. Why did the kids give their dad a blanket for Father’s Day? Because they thought he was the coolest dad.
29. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
30. Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
31. When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline is apparent!
32. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
33. What’s the downside to birthdays? Too many will kill you.
34. How do you identify a dogwood tree? By its bark.
35. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
36. What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
37. What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
38. What did the horse say after it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.
39. What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner’s on me.
40. Why did the boy bring a ladder on the bus? He wanted to go to high school.
41. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
42. Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
43. Why did the orange stop halfway across the road? It ran out of juice.
44. What did the accountant say while auditing a document? This is taxing.
45. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
46. Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it’s just water.
47. Why should you never throw grandpa’s false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
48. Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.
49. What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator? Don’t hate me because I’m a little cooler.
50. What do you do to have a space party? You planet.
51. Why couldn’t the tree get on his computer? Because he could not log on.
52. What’s a skeleton’s favorite type of road? A dead end.
53. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just a little wine.
54. What did the alien say to the landscaper? Take me to your weeder.
55. Me: “I want to write when I grow up.” Dad: “Why don’t you left instead?”
56. How many apples grow on an apple tree? All of them.
57. What did Elvis say to his landscaper? Thank you for the mulch!
58. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out!
59. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? Time to go to sweep.
60. The other day I was attacked by a bunch of circus clowns in a parking lot. I won though, cause I went right for the juggler.
61. I’d like to shout out sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.
62. What did the computer go to the doctor? Because he had a virus.
63. How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear.
64. Did you hear about the famous pickle? He’s a really big dill.
65. I went on Amazon to buy a lighter but all they had were 3,472 matches.
66. What do you need to make a highway in an art studio? A mile marker.
67. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.
68. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
69. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
70. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
71. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!
72. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
73. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here! I’m going on ahead.
74. Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones.
75. Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
76. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
77. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
78. How do you get a good price on a sled? You have toboggan.
79. How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree? By its bark.
80. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
81. It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.
82. What do you call a hot dog on wheels? Fast food!
83. Where do young trees go to learn? Elementree school.
84. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.
85. Can February March? No, but April May!
86. How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya!
87. Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind-it’s tearable.
88. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
89. Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.
90. I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
91. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
92. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
93. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
94. I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa.
95. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
96. Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just-water.
97. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
98. Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling?
99. Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because its mother was in a jam.
100. Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack.
101. Stop looking for the perfect match…use a lighter.
102. I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.
103. What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A Lamborghini.
104. What do you call someone who won’t stick to a diet? A desserter.
105. What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight.
106. If you see a burglary at an Apple store, you become an iWitness.
107. If the early bird gets the worm, I’ll sleep in until there’s pancakes.
108. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
109. I signed up for a marathon, but how will I know if it’s the real deal or just a run through?
110. When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.
111. What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!
Conclusion
These 111 bad Father’s Day jokes are guaranteed to bring a smile, a groan, or an eye-roll to dads everywhere. From puns about food and animals to silly wordplay and classic dad humor, this collection celebrates the spirit of Father’s Day with lighthearted fun. Whether you share these jokes over breakfast or in a card, they’re the perfect way to honor dads with laughter and love. After all, the best gift might just be a good (or wonderfully bad) joke that only a dad can truly appreciate.
