Father’s Day is the perfect occasion to celebrate dads with laughter, and nothing beats a good (or delightfully bad) crude joke to keep the spirit alive. While classic dad jokes are known for their punny innocence, crude Father’s Day jokes add a cheeky twist that can catch even the most serious dads off guard. This article brings you 139 crude Father’s Day jokes that balance humor with a bit of edge—ideal for those who appreciate humor that’s a little less PG and a lot more groan-worthy. Get ready to share these with your dad, but maybe keep a straight face when you do.
139 Crude Father’s Day Jokes Breaking the Internet This Year
1. Why did Dad bring a ladder to the bar on Father’s Day? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
2. My dad’s so crude, he calls his toolbox the “man cave.”
3. What’s the difference between Dad’s jokes and his underwear? One’s a little dirty, and the other’s just plain old.
4. Why don’t dads ever get lost? Because they always follow their “balls” of intuition.
5. Dad said he wanted a “hard” gift for Father’s Day, so I gave him a rock.
6. What did Dad say when he got a new grill for Father’s Day? “Finally, something that matches my hotness.”
7. Why did Dad keep a bottle of whiskey in his toolbox? For “screwdriver” emergencies.
8. Dad’s favorite exercise? Running his mouth.
9. What do you call a dad who’s always telling crude jokes? A “punderachiever.”
10. Why did Dad bring a condom to the barbecue? Just in case the steaks got too high.
11. What did Dad say when asked if he wanted to go fishing? “Only if I can catch some tail.”
12. Dad’s idea of a romantic dinner? Steak, whiskey, and a dirty joke.
13. How does Dad fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste and a little “hands-on” approach.
14. Why did Dad’s Father’s Day card have a picture of a wrench and a beer? Because that’s how he likes to tighten up his day.
15. What did Dad say when he was asked about his love life? “It’s like my garage—full of tools and a little rusty.”
16. Why did Dad wear sunglasses inside? To hide the twinkle after his “dirty” jokes.
17. What’s Dad’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal… and heavy petting.
18. Why did Dad bring a map to the bedroom? Because he likes to explore uncharted territories.
19. What did Dad say when he saw his Father’s Day gift? “Finally, something to put my hands on.”
20. Why did Dad keep a calendar in the bedroom? To mark all the “special occasions.”
21. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of joke? One with a little “kick” and a lot of “balls.”
22. Why did Dad bring a hammer to the date? To nail the evening.
23. What do you call Dad’s favorite drink? A “manhattan” with a twist of testosterone.
24. Dad’s favorite workout? Lifting spirits and lowering inhibitions.
25. What did Dad say when asked if he wanted a massage? “Only if it’s in all the right places.”
26. Why did Dad’s jokes always make Mom blush? Because they were borderline “dad-icated.”
27. What did Dad call his old pickup truck? His “second-hand lover.”
28. Why did Dad keep a bottle of lube in his toolbox? For “smooth” operations.
29. What’s Dad’s favorite bedtime story? “Fifty Shades of Dad.”
30. Why did Dad say his grill was like his love life? Both get hot and messy.
31. What did Dad say when he got a new pair of socks? “These will really knock my socks off.”
32. Why did Dad always carry a flask? To keep his “liquid courage” close.
33. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of humor? Dry, with a splash of naughty.
34. Why did Dad’s jokes always come with a wink? Because he knew they were a little “off-color.”
35. What did Dad say when asked about his dance moves? “I’m a little rusty, but I still got the moves.”
36. Why did Dad bring a bottle of hot sauce to the family dinner? To spice up more than just the food.
37. What’s Dad’s favorite tool? The one that fits just right.
38. Why did Dad say his beard was like his jokes? Both a little rough and full of surprises.
39. What did Dad say when he fixed the leaky faucet? “That’s how I drip charm.”
40. Why did Dad always wear a hat? To keep his “head” in the game.
41. What did Dad say when he was asked about his secret to happiness? “A little dirt never hurt.”
42. Why did Dad’s socks always have holes? Because he liked to keep things “ventilated.”
43. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of party? One with a lot of “tools” and no rules.
44. Why did Dad call his garage his “man cave”? Because it was where all the magic (and mess) happened.
45. What did Dad say when he got a new watch? “Now I can keep track of all my ‘timely’ jokes.”
46. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his barbecue? Both smoked and a little bit raw.
47. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of movie? One with a lot of “action” and a little “exposure.”
48. Why did Dad always carry a pocketknife? To cut through the awkward silences.
49. What did Dad say when he was asked about his workout routine? “I lift spirits and occasionally weights.”
50. Why did Dad’s jokes always come with a disclaimer? “Not suitable for the faint of heart.”
51. What did Dad say when he fixed the broken chair? “That’s how I keep things sitting pretty.”
52. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his beer? Both a little bitter but always refreshing.
53. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of breakfast? One with a side of “naughty” and a splash of “nice.”
54. Why did Dad bring a flashlight to the party? To shed light on the “dark” jokes.
55. What did Dad say when he was asked about his love life? “It’s a work in progress, just like my jokes.”
56. Why did Dad always wear boots? To stomp out bad vibes.
57. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of joke? One that’s a little “off the cuff.”
58. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his tools? Both designed to get a reaction.
59. What did Dad say when he got a new grill? “Time to turn up the heat.”
60. Why did Dad keep a bottle of cologne in his toolbox? To keep things smelling “fresh.”
61. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of music? One with a lot of “bass” and a little “sass.”
62. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his beard? Both a little wild and hard to tame.
63. What did Dad say when he was asked about his secret to charm? “A little dirt and a lot of confidence.”
64. Why did Dad always carry a deck of cards? To deal with awkward moments.
65. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of joke? One that’s a little “cheeky” and a lot “punny.”
66. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his grill? Both best enjoyed hot and messy.
67. What did Dad say when he fixed the leaky pipe? “That’s how I keep the flow going.”
68. Why did Dad always wear sunglasses at night? To keep his cool under pressure.
69. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of party? One with a lot of “tools” and no rules.
70. Why did Dad say his beard was like his jokes? Both a little rough and full of surprises.
71. What did Dad say when he got a new watch? “Now I can keep track of all my ‘timely’ jokes.”
72. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his barbecue? Both smoked and a little bit raw.
73. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of movie? One with a lot of “action” and a little “exposure.”
74. Why did Dad always carry a pocketknife? To cut through the awkward silences.
75. What did Dad say when he was asked about his workout routine? “I lift spirits and occasionally weights.”
76. Why did Dad’s jokes always come with a disclaimer? “Not suitable for the faint of heart.”
77. What did Dad say when he fixed the broken chair? “That’s how I keep things sitting pretty.”
78. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his beer? Both a little bitter but always refreshing.
79. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of breakfast? One with a side of “naughty” and a splash of “nice.”
80. Why did Dad bring a flashlight to the party? To shed light on the “dark” jokes.
81. What did Dad say when he was asked about his love life? “It’s a work in progress, just like my jokes.”
82. Why did Dad always wear boots? To stomp out bad vibes.
83. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of joke? One that’s a little “off the cuff.”
84. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his tools? Both designed to get a reaction.
85. What did Dad say when he got a new grill? “Time to turn up the heat.”
86. Why did Dad keep a bottle of cologne in his toolbox? To keep things smelling “fresh.”
87. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of music? One with a lot of “bass” and a little “sass.”
88. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his beard? Both a little wild and hard to tame.
89. What did Dad say when he was asked about his secret to charm? “A little dirt and a lot of confidence.”
90. Why did Dad always carry a deck of cards? To deal with awkward moments.
91. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of joke? One that’s a little “cheeky” and a lot “punny.”
92. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his grill? Both best enjoyed hot and messy.
93. What did Dad say when he fixed the leaky pipe? “That’s how I keep the flow going.”
94. Why did Dad always wear sunglasses at night? To keep his cool under pressure.
95. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of party? One with a lot of “tools” and no rules.
96. Why did Dad say his beard was like his jokes? Both a little rough and full of surprises.
97. What did Dad say when he got a new watch? “Now I can keep track of all my ‘timely’ jokes.”
98. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his barbecue? Both smoked and a little bit raw.
99. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of movie? One with a lot of “action” and a little “exposure.”
100. Why did Dad always carry a pocketknife? To cut through the awkward silences.
101. What did Dad say when he was asked about his workout routine? “I lift spirits and occasionally weights.”
102. Why did Dad’s jokes always come with a disclaimer? “Not suitable for the faint of heart.”
103. What did Dad say when he fixed the broken chair? “That’s how I keep things sitting pretty.”
104. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his beer? Both a little bitter but always refreshing.
105. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of breakfast? One with a side of “naughty” and a splash of “nice.”
106. Why did Dad bring a flashlight to the party? To shed light on the “dark” jokes.
107. What did Dad say when he was asked about his love life? “It’s a work in progress, just like my jokes.”
108. Why did Dad always wear boots? To stomp out bad vibes.
109. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of joke? One that’s a little “off the cuff.”
110. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his tools? Both designed to get a reaction.
111. What did Dad say when he got a new grill? “Time to turn up the heat.”
112. Why did Dad keep a bottle of cologne in his toolbox? To keep things smelling “fresh.”
113. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of music? One with a lot of “bass” and a little “sass.”
114. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his beard? Both a little wild and hard to tame.
115. What did Dad say when he was asked about his secret to charm? “A little dirt and a lot of confidence.”
116. Why did Dad always carry a deck of cards? To deal with awkward moments.
117. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of joke? One that’s a little “cheeky” and a lot “punny.”
118. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his grill? Both best enjoyed hot and messy.
119. What did Dad say when he fixed the leaky pipe? “That’s how I keep the flow going.”
120. Why did Dad always wear sunglasses at night? To keep his cool under pressure.
121. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of party? One with a lot of “tools” and no rules.
122. Why did Dad say his beard was like his jokes? Both a little rough and full of surprises.
123. What did Dad say when he got a new watch? “Now I can keep track of all my ‘timely’ jokes.”
124. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his barbecue? Both smoked and a little bit raw.
125. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of movie? One with a lot of “action” and a little “exposure.”
126. Why did Dad always carry a pocketknife? To cut through the awkward silences.
127. What did Dad say when he was asked about his workout routine? “I lift spirits and occasionally weights.”
128. Why did Dad’s jokes always come with a disclaimer? “Not suitable for the faint of heart.”
129. What did Dad say when he fixed the broken chair? “That’s how I keep things sitting pretty.”
130. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his beer? Both a little bitter but always refreshing.
131. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of breakfast? One with a side of “naughty” and a splash of “nice.”
132. Why did Dad bring a flashlight to the party? To shed light on the “dark” jokes.
133. What did Dad say when he was asked about his love life? “It’s a work in progress, just like my jokes.”
134. Why did Dad always wear boots? To stomp out bad vibes.
135. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of joke? One that’s a little “off the cuff.”
136. Why did Dad say his jokes were like his tools? Both designed to get a reaction.
137. What did Dad say when he got a new grill? “Time to turn up the heat.”
138. Why did Dad keep a bottle of cologne in his toolbox? To keep things smelling “fresh.”
139. What’s Dad’s favorite kind of music? One with a lot of “bass” and a little “sass.”
Conclusion
This collection of 139 crude Father’s Day jokes covers everything from playful innuendos to cheeky wordplay, all designed to bring laughter and a little shock value. These jokes are perfect for adult children looking to roast their dads or for dads who love to push the boundaries of humor. Whether you want to lighten
