Michael Che has spent Season 50 of Saturday Night Live strongly hinting that he might be ready to move on. And judging by his jokes, he’s been delivering punchlines like someone who no longer cares about staying safe or polite.
Here are 20 of Che’s most unfiltered and provocative Weekend Update moments — and a fair warning: these aren’t jokes you’d want to repeat at work.
1. “Kamala Harris released an 81-page book outlining her economic policy — because you know how women love to go on and on and on.”
2. “Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs’ sex-trafficking case was reassigned to a new judge — one Diddy hopes is okay with rape.”
3. “Leaked TikTok documents show the algorithm suppressed users it found unattractive — kind of like how Colin treats interns.”
4. “The Archdiocese of Los Angeles settled hundreds of child sex abuse cases for $880 million. Priests reportedly said, ‘Worth it.’”
5. “If Trump loses the election, he could go to jail. That’s why he’s really working that mic — trying to suck his way to freedom.”
6. “Black and Brown students in Nyack, New York received texts saying they were chosen to pick cotton. Police are investigating to see which officer sent them.”
7. “Elon Musk’s new government efficiency department posted a job asking people to work 80+ hours a week for free. Shouldn’t surprise anyone that the white African’s first idea is slavery.”
8. “FBI nominee Kash Patel — seen here realizing it wasn’t just a fart — was targeted by Iranian hackers. They guessed his password: two i’s placed really close together.”
9. “Matt Gaetz is launching a talk show on One America News Network. He’ll cover everything from quinceañeras to prom night nerves.”
10. “A Tennessee pizza shop refused to cater a gay wedding. But what if they called it a ‘meat lover’s wedding’?”
11. “Trump’s inauguration will now be held inside the Capitol — same place as last time.”
12. “For the first time in 30 years, NYC went five days without a shooting. People are just finding more fun in pushing others onto subway tracks.”
13. “Trump posted an A.I. video showing Gaza with a Trump hotel, belly dancers, and Netanyahu on a beach. It looked like an ISIS recruitment ad.”
14. “Amazon Prime’s new A.I. tool will dub movies into English — from Spanish, Korean, and Sylvester Stallone.”
15. “Homeland Security’s Kristi Noem visited a migrant prison in El Salvador — but it looked more like she was auditioning for a world record on OnlyFans.”
16. “A British baby ate his grandfather’s ashes. So technically, he does have his grandpa’s eyes.”
17. “A giant rat trained to detect landmines just set a world record: it found one.”
18. “Trump impersonated a transgender weightlifter at a college speech. That’s a sentence too dumb even for the University of Alabama.”
19. “Trump said he wants to reopen Alcatraz because it’s horrible, beautiful, strong, weak, and miserable — also his nicknames for his five kids.”
20. “New studies say too much sitting may hurt your brain — which explains why Stephen Hawking was such a dumbass.”
