Medieval times, often remembered for knights, castles, and epic quests, also had a rich tradition of humor—especially the kind of groan-worthy, pun-filled jokes that would make even a stoic king chuckle. These “dad jokes” from the Middle Ages blend wordplay, historical references, and a bit of silliness to entertain peasants and nobles alike. Whether you’re a history buff, a fan of puns, or just in need of a hearty laugh, this collection of 118+ medieval dad jokes will have you saying “Huzzah!” in no time.
118+ Medieval Dad Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Till Ye Drop
1. Why did the knight bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
2. What do you call a medieval cat? A purr-cess!
3. Why did the jester break up with his girlfriend? She found him too jokey!
4. How do you greet a medieval knight? With a hearty “Huzzah!”
5. Why did the castle get a new roof? It had too many leaks of royal gossip!
6. What did the medieval baker say to the knight? “You knead this!”
7. Why did the dragon get a job? He wanted to earn some fire-breathing cash!
8. What do you call a medieval knight who’s afraid to fight? Sir Render!
9. Why was the medieval musician always calm? He knew how to compose himself!
10. What did the king say to the knight who lost his sword? “You really let your guard down!”
11. How did the knight get his armor so shiny? He used knight polish!
12. What do you call a medieval horse that likes to dance? A hoof-tapping steed!
13. Why did the wizard break up with his girlfriend? She had too many spells!
14. What did the peasant say to the knight? “You’re looking quite gallant today!”
15. Why did the knight always carry a pencil? In case he had to draw his sword!
16. What did the castle’s ghost say? “Boo-tiful day, isn’t it?”
17. Why did the medieval farmer become a knight? He wanted to plow through the competition!
18. What did the queen say when she lost her crown? “Oh, my royal headache!”
19. Why did the knight refuse to play cards? He was afraid of getting a bad hand!
20. What do you call a medieval knight who tells tall tales? A knightmare!
21. Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his crown checked!
22. What did the knight say to his lady? “You’re the queen of my heart!”
23. Why was the medieval castle so good at chess? It had a lot of knights!
24. What do you call a medieval knight who is great at gardening? Sir Plant-a-lot!
25. Why did the jester bring string to the court? To tie up the loose ends of his jokes!
26. What did the medieval doctor prescribe? A little knight-time reading!
27. Why was the knight always calm during battle? He had a lot of knightly composure!
28. What do you call a medieval knight who loves math? Sir Count-a-lot!
29. Why did the princess always carry a pencil? In case she needed to draw a crowd!
30. What did the knight say when he won the tournament? “I’m on a roll!”
31. Why did the medieval baker join the knight’s quest? He wanted to make some dough!
32. What do you call a dragon who loves to sing? A fire-breathing diva!
33. Why did the knight refuse to share his lunch? He didn’t want to be a knight who shares!
34. What do you call a medieval spy? A knight in disguise!
35. Why did the peasant bring a broom to the feast? He wanted to sweep the competition!
36. What did the king say to the knight who was late? “You’re a little behind the times!”
37. Why did the knight take a bath before the battle? He wanted to be squeaky clean for the fight!
38. What did the castle say to the knight? “You really know how to build a good rapport!”
39. Why was the medieval blacksmith so popular? He really knew how to forge friendships!
40. What do you call a knight who loves to dance? Sir Boogie!
41. Why did the medieval artist get kicked out of court? He kept drawing a crowd!
42. Why did the knight bring a ladder to the dragon’s lair? Because he wanted to go ‘up’ in flames!
43. Why was the medieval jester always calm under pressure? Because he had a ‘knack’ for staying ‘jest’ified!
44. How did the medieval blacksmith greet his friends? With a ‘weld’come embrace!
45. What did the medieval king say when he wanted to go fishing? ‘I’m ‘reel’ly in the mood for a castle-cation!’
46. Why did the medieval baker make round loaves of bread? Because he wanted his bread to be ‘knightly’!
47. What do you call a medieval physician who specializes in horse health? A ‘stall’-ionaire doctor!
48. Why did the medieval alchemist never play hide and seek? Because he was always ‘transmuting’ his hiding spots!
49. Why did the knight bring a ladder to the castle? Because he wanted to go up in the world!
50. What do you call a knight who loves to cook? Sir Loin of Beef!
51. Why was the medieval archer so good at making decisions? Because he always had an arrow in his quiver!
52. How did the medieval barber stay calm during battles? He knew how to keep a ‘cool’ head!
53. Why did the minstrel always carry a pencil and paper? In case he had to ‘note’worthy adventures!
54. What do you call a wizard who’s good at math? An ‘alge-bra-gician’!
55. Why did the princess bring a ladder to the tower? Because she wanted to climb up to her dreams!
56. Why did the king want to knight the chef? Because he served rare steaks, but it was a rare mis-steak!
57. The blacksmith didn’t like to forge friendships.
58. Running a kingdom was no small feat, but the king always had his knight in shining armor.
59. The jousters had a real lance of humor.
60. The king was terrible at chess because he always lost his queen.
61. The castle cook loved to whisk it all.
62. The queen had a good reign, even when she wasn’t reigning.
63. The knight was afraid of getting grilled, so he always stayed well-done.
64. The squire couldn’t handle the pressure and called it quitting time.
65. The royal garden was a medieval thyme machine.
66. The court jester brought life to the laughs with every jest.
67. The lord never got lost; he always had a manor to find his way.
68. The knight had a wheely good time on his trusty steed.
69. The blacksmith was fired for having too many irons in the fire.
70. The king’s scribe always had write of passage.
71. The knights were great at swordplay, but words were their sharpest weapons.
72. The dragon loved to roast marshmallows in his spare time.
73. Why did the knight bring a map to the feast? He didn’t want to lose his way to the good food!
74. Why did King Arthur decide to have a roundtable in his court? So that none of his knights could corner him!
75. What was the king’s reaction when he heard about the peasants’ revolt? He agreed with them, as they never bathed and always smelled bad.
76. Why did the knight choose a sword made of cheddar cheese for the tournament? Because he wanted to slice through the competition with extra sharpness!
77. Why did the medieval knight spend time polishing his armor before the Queen’s dinner party? He wanted to arrive as a knight in shining armor!
78. Why did the engineers from the Aztec civilization excel? They had an excellent education in engineering, thanks to Aztech!
79. What was the reaction of King Arthur’s mother when he tried to pull the sword from the stone? She scolded him for playing with sharp objects!
80. Why did the knight always carry a pencil? In case he had to draw his sword!
81. What do you call a medieval knight who is always on time? Sir Punctual!
82. Why did the dragon get a job at the bakery? He wanted to make some dough with his fire-breathing skills!
83. How do you organize a medieval party? You “knight” it up!
84. What did the knight say to the dragon? “You’re really on fire today!”
85. Why did the jester bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
86. What do you call a knight who tells tall tales? A knightmare!
87. Why did the knight refuse to play cards? He was afraid of getting a bad hand!
88. What did the castle’s ghost say? “Boo-tiful day, isn’t it?”
89. Why did the knight bring a pencil? In case he had to draw his sword!
90. What did the king say to the knight who lost his sword? “You really let your guard down!”
91. Why did the knight always carry a pencil? In case he had to draw his sword!
92. What do you call a medieval knight who loves math? Sir Count-a-lot!
93. Why did the princess always carry a pencil? In case she needed to draw a crowd!
94. Why did the knight take a bath before the battle? He wanted to be squeaky clean for the fight!
95. What do you call a wizard who’s good at math? An ‘alge-bra-gician’!
96. Why did the princess bring a ladder to the tower? Because she wanted to climb up to her dreams!
97. Why did the knight bring a ladder to the castle? Because he wanted to go up in the world!
98. What do you call a knight who loves to cook? Sir Loin of Beef!
99. Why was the medieval archer so good at making decisions? Because he always had an arrow in his quiver!
100. How did the medieval barber stay calm during battles? He knew how to keep a ‘cool’ head!
101. Why did the minstrel always carry a pencil and paper? In case he had to ‘note’worthy adventures!
102. Why was the medieval blacksmith so popular? He really knew how to forge friendships!
103. Why did the knight bring a ladder to the dragon’s lair? Because he wanted to go ‘up’ in flames!
104. Why was the medieval jester always calm under pressure? Because he had a ‘knack’ for staying ‘jest’ified!
105. How did the medieval blacksmith greet his friends? With a ‘weld’come embrace!
106. What did the medieval king say when he wanted to go fishing? ‘I’m ‘reel’ly in the mood for a castle-cation!’
107. Why did the medieval baker make round loaves of bread? Because he wanted his bread to be ‘knightly’!
108. What do you call a medieval physician who specializes in horse health? A ‘stall’-ionaire doctor!
109. Why did the medieval alchemist never play hide and seek? Because he was always ‘transmuting’ his hiding spots!
110. Why did the knight bring a ladder to the castle? Because he wanted to go up in the world!
111. What do you call a knight who loves to cook? Sir Loin of Beef!
112. Why was the medieval archer so good at making decisions? Because he always had an arrow in his quiver!
113. How did the medieval barber stay calm during battles? He knew how to keep a ‘cool’ head!
114. Why did the minstrel always carry a pencil and paper? In case he had to ‘note’worthy adventures!
115. What do you call a wizard who’s good at math? An ‘alge-bra-gician’!
116. Why did the princess bring a ladder to the tower? Because she wanted to climb up to her dreams!
117. Why did the knight refuse to share his lunch? He didn’t want to be a knight who shares!
118. What do you call a medieval spy? A knight in disguise!
119. Why did the peasant bring a broom to the feast? He wanted to sweep the competition!
120. What did the king say to the knight who was late? “You’re a little behind the times!”
Conclusion
From knights who love to “draw” their swords to dragons roasting marshmallows, medieval dad jokes bring a timeless charm that connects us with the humor of the past. These puns and playful quips remind us that laughter has always been a noble pursuit, whether in a grand castle or a humble village. So next time you need a chuckle, just remember: a good medieval dad joke is always just a jest away!
