Weekends are the perfect time to relax, recharge, and share some laughs with family and friends. What better way to add some cheer to your days off than with a collection of classic, quirky, and downright silly dad jokes? These jokes are designed to be lighthearted and fun—perfect for breaking the ice, sparking a smile, or even eliciting a groan or two. Whether you’re hanging out at home, grilling in the backyard, or just enjoying some downtime, these 128 weekend dad jokes will keep the good vibes rolling. So sit back, enjoy, and get ready to become the weekend’s funniest dad—or just enjoy the humor from a safe distance!
128 Weekend Dad Jokes That Will Have You Groaning All Day!
1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
2. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
4. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
6. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
7. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
8. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
9. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
10. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
11. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
12. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
13. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
14. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
15. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
17. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
18. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
19. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
20. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
21. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
22. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
23. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
24. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
25. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
26. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
27. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
28. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
29. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
30. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
31. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
32. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.
33. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
34. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
35. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
36. How do you organize a fantastic space party? You planet.
37. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
38. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune.
39. Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets.
40. What do you call a chicken who tells jokes? A comedi-hen.
41. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
42. What do you call a snowman party? A chill out.
43. Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.
44. What do you call a cat who loves to bowl? An alley cat.
45. Why did the calendar go to therapy? It felt its days were numbered.
46. What do you call a turtle who loves to race? A shell-ebrity.
47. Why did the pencil go to the principal’s office? Because it was caught drawing on the desk.
48. What do you call a bear caught in the rain? A drizzly bear.
49. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
50. What do you call a vampire who loves snow? Frostbite.
51. Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many sharp objects.
52. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
53. Why did the electrician break up with his girlfriend? There was no current between them.
54. What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend.
55. Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal.
56. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador.
57. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
58. What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A sturgeon.
59. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
60. What do you call a snowman with a carrot nose? Frosty the nose man.
61. Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt? In case he got a hole in one.
62. What do you call a cow that just gave birth? Decalfinated.
63. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer too long.
64. What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear.
65. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
66. What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.
67. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
68. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore.
69. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
70. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
71. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
72. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
73. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
74. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? King Neptune.
75. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
76. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
77. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
78. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
79. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
80. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
81. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
82. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
83. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
84. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
85. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
86. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
87. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
88. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
89. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
90. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
91. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
92. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
93. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
94. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
95. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
96. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
97. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.
98. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
99. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
100. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
101. How do you organize a fantastic space party? You planet.
102. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
103. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune.
104. Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets.
105. What do you call a chicken who tells jokes? A comedi-hen.
106. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
107. What do you call a snowman party? A chill out.
108. Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.
109. What do you call a cat who loves to bowl? An alley cat.
110. Why did the calendar go to therapy? It felt its days were numbered.
111. What do you call a turtle who loves to race? A shell-ebrity.
112. Why did the pencil go to the principal’s office? Because it was caught drawing on the desk.
113. What do you call a bear caught in the rain? A drizzly bear.
114. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
115. What do you call a vampire who loves snow? Frostbite.
116. Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many sharp objects.
117. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
118. Why did the electrician break up with his girlfriend? There was no current between them.
119. What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend.
120. Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal.
121. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador.
122. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
123. What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A sturgeon.
124. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
125. What do you call a snowman with a carrot nose? Frosty the nose man.
126. Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt? In case he got a hole in one.
127. What do you call a cow that just gave birth? Decalfinated.
128. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer too long.
Conclusion
There you have it—128 weekend dad jokes to brighten your days off and keep the laughter flowing. Whether you share these jokes at a family barbecue, during a casual chat with friends, or just to lighten your own mood, they’re guaranteed to bring a smile or a chuckle. Dad jokes have a timeless charm that makes them perfect for any occasion, especially weekends when the goal is to unwind and enjoy. So keep this list handy, and let the weekend humor roll!
