Monday mornings often come with a collective groan. The weekend’s freedom fades, the alarm clock feels harsher, and the coffee never seems strong enough. But what if the best cure for the Monday blues was a good dose of dad jokes? Those wonderfully corny, eye-roll-inducing puns and one-liners have a magical way of lightening the mood and turning a dreary start into a chuckle-worthy moment.
In this article, you’ll find over 142 original Monday dad jokes designed to brighten your day, break the ice at work, or simply make you smile while you sip that essential first cup of coffee. Whether you love them or dread them, dad jokes are the perfect antidote to Monday’s gloom.
142+ Monday Dad Jokes to Make You Cry-Laugh at Work
1. Why don’t eggs tell jokes on Monday? Because they might crack under pressure.
2. What do Mondays and coffee have in common? Without enough of it, I can’t function — and I still spill both everywhere.
3. Why did the calendar bring a ladder to work on Monday? Because it heard it was going to be a high-pressure day!
4. What do you call a sleeping bull on a Monday morning? A bulldozer.
5. Why was the calendar so full on Monday? Because it was completely booked!
6. What’s Monday’s favorite workout? The “slow-mo” jog — because nobody’s rushing yet.
7. How do you make a tissue dance on Monday? Put a little boogie in it.
8. Why don’t Mondays ever get invited to parties? Because they always bring work instead of drinks.
9. What’s Monday’s spirit vegetable? A raw onion — it makes everyone cry for no reason.
10. Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? It got mugged.
11. What’s a Monday’s favorite type of music? The blues, naturally.
12. Why did the scarecrow get promoted on Monday? Because he was outstanding in his field.
13. How do Mondays stay in shape? By running away as fast as possible.
14. What do you call someone who loves Mondays? A rare breed.
15. Why did the computer go to therapy on Monday? It had too many bytes of stress.
16. What did the clock say to Monday? “Tick tock, time to rock!”
17. Why did the bicycle fall over on Monday? Because it was two-tired.
18. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work on Monday? A can’t opener.
19. Why did Monday break up with Friday? Because Friday was always too much fun.
20. What do you call a lazy kangaroo on Monday? A pouch potato.
21. Why did the tomato turn red on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing.
22. How does a penguin build its house on Monday? Igloos it together.
23. Why did the math book look sad on Monday? Because it had too many problems.
24. What do you call a fish that works on Monday? A “work-a-dory.”
25. Why don’t Mondays ever win races? Because they always come in last.
26. What’s a Monday’s favorite drink? Decaf — because it’s still waking up.
27. Why did the cookie go to the doctor on Monday? Because it felt crummy.
28. How do you organize a space party on Monday? You planet.
29. Why was the broom late on Monday? It overswept.
30. What do you call a dog magician on Monday? A labracadabrador.
31. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants on Monday? In case he got a hole in one.
32. What do you call an alligator in a vest on Monday? An investigator.
33. Why did the music teacher go to jail on Monday? Because she got caught with too many sharp objects.
34. What do you call a snowman on Monday? A puddle waiting to happen.
35. Why did the chicken join a band on Monday? Because it had the drumsticks.
36. What do you call a bear with no teeth on Monday? A gummy bear.
37. Why did the coffee file a complaint on Monday? It was tired of being ground down.
38. What’s a Monday’s favorite type of joke? A groaner, just like dad jokes.
39. Why did the pencil go to the principal on Monday? Because it was feeling pointless.
40. How do you catch a squirrel on Monday? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
41. Why did the lettuce blush on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing.
42. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo on Monday? A pouch potato.
43. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself on Monday? Because it was two-tired.
44. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes your Monday meeting? A Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
45. Why did the scarecrow win an award on Monday? Because he was outstanding in his field.
46. What do you call a fish with no eyes on Monday? Fsh.
47. Why was the math book unhappy on Monday? It had too many problems.
48. What’s a Monday’s favorite type of exercise? The “yawn” stretch.
49. Why don’t Mondays ever get invited to barbecues? Because they always bring the grill down.
50. What do you call a cow on Monday? Moo-ving slowly.
51. Why did the computer go to the doctor on Monday? It had a virus.
52. What do you call a sleeping bull on Monday? A bulldozer.
53. Why did the calendar go to therapy on Monday? It felt overwhelmed by dates.
54. What do you call a lazy kangaroo on Monday? A pouch potato.
55. Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? It got mugged.
56. What’s a Monday’s favorite vegetable? A “cry-onion.”
57. Why did the golfer bring extra socks on Monday? In case he got a hole in one.
58. What do you call a bear with no teeth on Monday? A gummy bear.
59. Why did the chicken cross the playground on Monday? To get to the other slide.
60. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work on Monday? A can’t opener.
61. Why did the spider enroll in web design class on Monday? To improve his web skills.
62. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes your Monday meeting? A Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
63. Why did the cookie go to the doctor on Monday? Because it felt crummy.
64. How do you organize a space party on Monday? You planet.
65. Why was the broom late on Monday? It overswept.
66. What do you call a dog magician on Monday? A labracadabrador.
67. Why did the music teacher go to jail on Monday? Because she got caught with too many sharp objects.
68. What do you call a snowman on Monday? A puddle waiting to happen.
69. Why did the chicken join a band on Monday? Because it had the drumsticks.
70. What do you call a bear with no teeth on Monday? A gummy bear.
71. Why did the coffee file a complaint on Monday? It was tired of being ground down.
72. What’s a Monday’s favorite type of joke? A groaner, just like dad jokes.
73. Why did the pencil go to the principal on Monday? Because it was feeling pointless.
74. How do you catch a squirrel on Monday? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
75. Why did the lettuce blush on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing.
76. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo on Monday? A pouch potato.
77. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself on Monday? Because it was two-tired.
78. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes your Monday meeting? A Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
79. Why did the scarecrow win an award on Monday? Because he was outstanding in his field.
80. What do you call a fish with no eyes on Monday? Fsh.
81. Why was the math book unhappy on Monday? It had too many problems.
82. What’s a Monday’s favorite type of exercise? The “yawn” stretch.
83. Why don’t Mondays ever get invited to barbecues? Because they always bring the grill down.
84. What do you call a cow on Monday? Moo-ving slowly.
85. Why did the computer go to the doctor on Monday? It had a virus.
86. What do you call a sleeping bull on Monday? A bulldozer.
87. Why did the calendar go to therapy on Monday? It felt overwhelmed by dates.
88. What do you call a lazy kangaroo on Monday? A pouch potato.
89. Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? It got mugged.
90. What’s a Monday’s favorite vegetable? A “cry-onion.”
91. Why did the golfer bring extra socks on Monday? In case he got a hole in one.
92. What do you call a bear with no teeth on Monday? A gummy bear.
93. Why did the chicken cross the playground on Monday? To get to the other slide.
94. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work on Monday? A can’t opener.
95. Why did the spider enroll in web design class on Monday? To improve his web skills.
96. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes your Monday meeting? A Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
97. Why did the cookie go to the doctor on Monday? Because it felt crummy.
98. How do you organize a space party on Monday? You planet.
99. Why was the broom late on Monday? It overswept.
100. What do you call a dog magician on Monday? A labracadabrador.
101. Why did the music teacher go to jail on Monday? Because she got caught with too many sharp objects.
102. What do you call a snowman on Monday? A puddle waiting to happen.
103. Why did the chicken join a band on Monday? Because it had the drumsticks.
104. What do you call a bear with no teeth on Monday? A gummy bear.
105. Why did the coffee file a complaint on Monday? It was tired of being ground down.
106. What’s a Monday’s favorite type of joke? A groaner, just like dad jokes.
107. Why did the pencil go to the principal on Monday? Because it was feeling pointless.
108. How do you catch a squirrel on Monday? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
109. Why did the lettuce blush on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing.
110. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo on Monday? A pouch potato.
111. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself on Monday? Because it was two-tired.
112. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes your Monday meeting? A Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
113. Why did the scarecrow win an award on Monday? Because he was outstanding in his field.
114. What do you call a fish with no eyes on Monday? Fsh.
115. Why was the math book unhappy on Monday? It had too many problems.
116. What’s a Monday’s favorite type of exercise? The “yawn” stretch.
117. Why don’t Mondays ever get invited to barbecues? Because they always bring the grill down.
118. What do you call a cow on Monday? Moo-ving slowly.
119. Why did the computer go to the doctor on Monday? It had a virus.
120. What do you call a sleeping bull on Monday? A bulldozer.
121. Why did the calendar go to therapy on Monday? It felt overwhelmed by dates.
122. What do you call a lazy kangaroo on Monday? A pouch potato.
123. Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? It got mugged.
124. What’s a Monday’s favorite vegetable? A “cry-onion.”
125. Why did the golfer bring extra socks on Monday? In case he got a hole in one.
126. What do you call a bear with no teeth on Monday? A gummy bear.
127. Why did the chicken cross the playground on Monday? To get to the other slide.
128. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work on Monday? A can’t opener.
129. Why did the spider enroll in web design class on Monday? To improve his web skills.
130. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes your Monday meeting? A Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
131. Why did the cookie go to the doctor on Monday? Because it felt crummy.
132. How do you organize a space party on Monday? You planet.
133. Why was the broom late on Monday? It overswept.
134. What do you call a dog magician on Monday? A labracadabrador.
135. Why did the music teacher go to jail on Monday? Because she got caught with too many sharp objects.
136. What do you call a snowman on Monday? A puddle waiting to happen.
137. Why did the chicken join a band on Monday? Because it had the drumsticks.
138. What do you call a bear with no teeth on Monday? A gummy bear.
139. Why did the coffee file a complaint on Monday? It was tired of being ground down.
140. What’s a Monday’s favorite type of joke? A groaner, just like dad jokes.
141. Why did the pencil go to the principal on Monday? Because it was feeling pointless.
142. How do you catch a squirrel on Monday? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
143. Why did the lettuce blush on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing.
144. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo on Monday? A pouch potato.
Conclusion
Monday dad jokes may be groan-worthy, but they serve a greater purpose: turning the toughest day of the week into a lighter, more bearable experience. Whether you’re sharing these jokes with coworkers, friends, or just enjoying a private chuckle, remember that humor is a powerful tool against the Monday blues. So the next time Monday tries to bring you down, fight back with a dad joke — because laughter is the best way to start any week.
Keep this list handy, and you’ll never run out of ways to brighten your Monday mornings!
