Dad jokes have a special place in the world of humor. They are famously cheesy, often predictable, and delightfully awful. These jokes are the kind that make you roll your eyes, sigh deeply, and then laugh anyway. Whether you’re a dad looking to expand your repertoire or someone who just loves a good (or bad) pun, this collection of 157 crap dad jokes is sure to entertain. Get ready for a rollercoaster of groans, chuckles, and maybe even a few genuine laughs. Buckle up, because here come the puns!
157 Crap Dad Jokes, Laugh Till You Can’t Breathe!
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. I would avoid the sushi if I were you. It’s a little fishy.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
4. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
5. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
6. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
7. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
8. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
9. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
10. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
11. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
12. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
13. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
14. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
15. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
17. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
18. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
19. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
20. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
21. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
22. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
23. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
24. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
25. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
26. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
27. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
28. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
29. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
30. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
31. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
32. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
33. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
34. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
35. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
36. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.
37. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
38. Why did the mushroom go to the party alone? Because he’s a fungi.
39. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
40. Why did the math teacher open a bakery? Because she was great at pie.
41. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
42. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
43. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune.
44. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
45. What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey.
46. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
47. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
48. Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt? In case he got a hole in one.
49. What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce? Chicken sees a salad.
50. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
51. What do you call a cat that can sing? A meow-sician.
52. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
53. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
54. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
55. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune.
56. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
57. What do you call a snowman with a carrot nose? Frosty the nose-man.
58. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
59. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
60. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
61. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
62. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
63. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
64. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
65. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
66. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
67. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
68. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
69. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
70. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
71. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
72. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
73. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
74. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
75. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
76. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
77. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.
78. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
79. Why did the mushroom go to the party alone? Because he’s a fungi.
80. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
81. Why did the math teacher open a bakery? Because she was great at pie.
82. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
83. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
84. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune.
85. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
86. What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey.
87. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
88. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
89. Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt? In case he got a hole in one.
90. What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce? Chicken sees a salad.
91. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
92. What do you call a cat that can sing? A meow-sician.
93. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
94. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
95. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
96. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune.
97. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
98. What do you call a snowman with a carrot nose? Frosty the nose-man.
99. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
100. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
101. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
102. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
103. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
104. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
105. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
106. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
107. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
108. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
109. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
110. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
111. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
112. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
113. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
114. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
115. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
116. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
117. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
118. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field.
119. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
120. Why did the mushroom go to the party alone? Because he’s a fungi.
121. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
122. Why did the math teacher open a bakery? Because she was great at pie.
123. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
124. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
125. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune.
126. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
127. What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey.
128. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
129. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
130. Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt? In case he got a hole in one.
131. What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce? Chicken sees a salad.
132. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
133. What do you call a cat that can sing? A meow-sician.
134. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
135. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
136. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
137. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Neptune.
138. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
139. What do you call a snowman with a carrot nose? Frosty the nose-man.
140. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
141. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
142. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
143. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
144. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
145. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
146. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
147. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
148. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
149. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
150. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
151. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
152. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
153. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
154. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
155. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
156. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
157. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
Conclusion
There you have it — 157 of the finest, crappiest dad jokes to brighten your day or at least make you groan with delight. These jokes may be simple, silly, and sometimes downright awful, but that’s exactly what makes them so endearing. Whether you use them to break the ice, lighten the mood, or torture your family with puns, dad jokes are a timeless form of humor that never goes out of style. So keep these jokes handy, share them generously, and remember: the cheesier, the better!
