If you are unfamiliar with addiction, you might not know that many people in recovery avoid calling themselves a “former addict” or “former alcoholic.” Addiction—whether to drugs, alcohol, or even inhalants—never truly goes away. Instead, it is managed and kept under control. It is less like a cure and more like remission, similar to a chronic illness that requires ongoing attention.
Relapses are common for many people recovering from addiction. It often takes multiple attempts to maintain sobriety. So when sobriety finally feels steady, it brings a huge sense of relief. You no longer have to struggle desperately to avoid drinking in difficult situations, like being at a bar surrounded by alcohol while trying to stay sober.
Having confidence in your sobriety allows you to be in places or situations you once avoided. Ideally, you choose to return to these places on your own terms and in your own time. For example, I carefully tested my ability to visit some of my favorite Brooklyn bars and order seltzer instead of alcohol.
John Mulaney, however, faced far greater challenges. His wife, Olivia Munn, is battling aggressive breast cancer. Along with the emotional toll, this meant Mulaney had to help her manage a daily mix of powerful prescription medications. Many people in recovery avoid having triggers like alcohol or drugs in the house. But it’s much harder when your partner needs painkillers after major surgery.
Despite this, Mulaney has managed to keep his sobriety intact. He shared on a podcast with Woody Harrelson and Ted Danson that while bringing Munn her medication—Xanax, Oxycontin, and nerve drugs—he noticed that his old obsession with these substances was gone. Carrying that tray, which would be a serious test for anyone in recovery, was a clear sign of how far he had come.
Delivering the medication successfully surprised Mulaney. He called it “a huge change” and said he was shocked he was able to do it. He added, “There’s nothing wrong or shameful about relapse. I just mean I’m shocked, always, that it landed.”
At least, through it all, he still enjoys the simple pleasure of canceling plans.
