Wine is not just a drink; it’s a mood, a vibe, and sometimes, a reason to laugh out loud. Whether you’re a casual sipper or a full-time wine enthusiast, a little humor goes a long way in making your wine moments even more enjoyable. And what better way to spice things up than with some kinky wine jokes? These jokes mix a bit of cheeky fun with the classic love for wine, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and maybe even raise an eyebrow or two.
In this article, you’ll find 129 kinky wine jokes that are simple, witty, and perfect for sharing at your next wine night. From playful puns to saucy one-liners, these jokes cover all the bases. So pour yourself a glass, sit back, and get ready to laugh your cork off!
129 Kinky Wine Jokes That’ll Have You Giggling in the Vineyard
1. Why did the wine blush? Because it saw the cork pop and got a little kinky.
2. What do you call a wine that loves to tease? A cheeky chardonnay.
3. I like my wine like I like my nights-full-bodied and a little wild.
4. What’s a wine’s favorite position? On the rocks.
5. Why did the grape get tied up? It wanted to be a little more knotty.
6. What do you get when wine and kink meet? A perfect pairing.
7. Why don’t wine bottles ever get jealous? Because they know how to keep things sealed tight.
8. What’s a sommelier’s secret kink? A little bit of whip in the wine glass.
9. How do you seduce a bottle of wine? Whisper sweet nothings and give it a slow pour.
10. Why did the wine bring handcuffs to the party? To keep things tied up in fun.
11. What’s the kinkiest wine accessory? A leather corkscrew.
12. Why did the wine go to the BDSM club? To get a little pressed and poured.
13. What do you call a wine that likes to be dominated? A submissive sauvignon.
14. How do you know a wine is kinky? It always wants to be decanted slowly.
15. What’s the difference between a kinky wine and a vanilla wine? One likes to be shaken, the other just stirred.
16. Why did the wine blush at the party? Because it saw the corkscrew and got a little turned on.
17. What’s a wine’s favorite type of play? Blind tasting.
18. How do kinky wines flirt? They whip up some bubbles.
19. What’s a wine’s favorite game? Pin the cork on the bottle.
20. Why did the wine wear leather? To look grape and a little naughty.
21. What do you call a wine that loves role play? A cabernet character.
22. Why do kinky wine lovers never get bored? Because every bottle has a new kink to explore.
23. What’s the kinkiest wine joke? The one that leaves you pressed for more.
24. How does wine like to be touched? With a gentle swirl and a firm grip.
25. What’s a wine’s favorite type of bondage? Tied up in tannins.
26. Why did the wine get a spanking? Because it was a little too fruity.
27. What’s the sexiest wine? The one that’s full-bodied and bold.
28. How do you make a wine feel special? Give it a slow, sensual uncorking.
29. Why did the wine bring a blindfold? To enhance the taste and the tease.
30. What’s a wine’s favorite kink toy? The corkscrew.
31. Why do kinky wines love parties? Because they get to mix and match.
32. What do you call a wine that likes to be spanked? A pinot noir naughty.
33. How do you know a wine is into kink? It always wants to be bottled up tight.
34. What’s the kinkiest way to enjoy wine? With a little whip and a lot of whine.
35. Why did the wine get tied to the chair? For a little restraint and release.
36. What’s a wine’s favorite BDSM phrase? Pour me, tease me, please me.
37. How does a kinky wine start the night? With a slow seduction and a tight seal.
38. Why did the wine bring rope? To get tied up in flavor.
39. What’s the kinkiest wine joke of all? The one that’s aged to perfection and a little bit naughty.
40. How do you make wine blush? Tell it a dirty joke while uncorking.
41. What’s a kinky wine’s favorite dance? The grapevine twist.
42. Why did the wine get a collar? To show it’s taken by the bottle.
43. What’s a wine’s favorite way to relax? Bound and decanted.
44. How do kinky wines say goodbye? With a tight cork and a slow pour.
45. What’s the kinkiest wine pun? Let’s get this party started with a little wine and whine.
46. Why did the wine go to therapy? To explore its deep, dark tannins.
47. What’s a wine’s favorite kink? Seductive sipping.
48. How do you know a wine is feeling frisky? It starts to bubble over.
49. Why did the wine wear fishnet stockings? To look grape and tempting.
50. What’s a wine’s favorite way to be touched? With a soft swirl and a firm grip.
51. How do kinky wines flirt? They whip up some bubbles.
52. What’s a wine’s favorite game? Pin the cork on the bottle.
53. Why did the wine wear leather? To look grape and a little naughty.
54. What do you call a wine that loves role play? A cabernet character.
55. Why do kinky wine lovers never get bored? Because every bottle has a new kink to explore.
56. What’s the kinkiest wine joke? The one that leaves you pressed for more.
57. How does wine like to be touched? With a gentle swirl and a firm grip.
58. What’s a wine’s favorite type of bondage? Tied up in tannins.
59. Why did the wine get a spanking? Because it was a little too fruity.
60. What’s the sexiest wine? The one that’s full-bodied and bold.
61. How do you make a wine feel special? Give it a slow, sensual uncorking.
62. Why did the wine bring a blindfold? To enhance the taste and the tease.
63. What’s a wine’s favorite kink toy? The corkscrew.
64. Why do kinky wines love parties? Because they get to mix and match.
65. What do you call a wine that likes to be spanked? A pinot noir naughty.
66. How do you know a wine is into kink? It always wants to be bottled up tight.
67. What’s the kinkiest way to enjoy wine? With a little whip and a lot of whine.
68. Why did the wine get tied to the chair? For a little restraint and release.
69. What’s a wine’s favorite BDSM phrase? Pour me, tease me, please me.
70. How does a kinky wine start the night? With a slow seduction and a tight seal.
71. Why did the wine bring rope? To get tied up in flavor.
72. What’s the kinkiest wine joke of all? The one that’s aged to perfection and a little bit naughty.
73. How do you make wine blush? Tell it a dirty joke while uncorking.
74. What’s a kinky wine’s favorite dance? The grapevine twist.
75. Why did the wine get a collar? To show it’s taken by the bottle.
76. What’s a wine’s favorite way to relax? Bound and decanted.
77. How do kinky wines say goodbye? With a tight cork and a slow pour.
78. What’s the kinkiest wine pun? Let’s get this party started with a little wine and whine.
79. Why did the wine go to therapy? To explore its deep, dark tannins.
80. What’s a wine’s favorite kink? Seductive sipping.
81. How do you know a wine is feeling frisky? It starts to bubble over.
82. Why did the wine wear fishnet stockings? To look grape and tempting.
83. What’s a wine’s favorite way to be touched? With a soft swirl and a firm grip.
84. Why did the wine blush when uncorked? It was ready for a little action.
85. What’s a wine’s favorite bedroom accessory? The silk wine stopper.
86. How do you keep a wine interested? Give it a little twist and turn.
87. Why do wines love the dark? It’s the best place for secret sips.
88. What’s the kinkiest thing about wine? It always wants to be poured out and tasted.
89. How do you tease a bottle of wine? Give it a slow uncorking and a little whisper.
90. Why did the wine get a tattoo? To show its wild side.
91. What’s a wine’s favorite way to be kissed? With a soft sip and a lingering taste.
92. Why do wines make great lovers? They know how to linger and leave you wanting more.
93. What’s a wine’s favorite game? Truth or pour.
94. How do you know a wine is naughty? It always leaves a little stain.
95. Why did the wine wear a mask? To play hard to get.
96. What’s a wine’s favorite type of foreplay? A slow swirl in the glass.
97. How do you make a wine feel loved? By giving it a gentle squeeze and a warm pour.
98. Why did the wine get a spanking? It was a little too sweet.
99. What’s a wine’s favorite kink? Being decanted and served.
100. How do you keep a wine happy? Give it a tight seal and a slow pour.
101. Why did the wine blush at the dinner party? Because it got a little pressed.
102. What’s a wine’s favorite way to be teased? With a slow uncorking and a soft pour.
103. How do you know a wine is feeling playful? It starts to bubble with excitement.
104. Why did the wine wear a collar? To show it’s taken by the glass.
105. What’s a wine’s favorite way to relax? Bound and decanted.
106. How do kinky wines say goodbye? With a tight cork and a slow pour.
107. What’s the kinkiest wine pun? Let’s get this party started with a little wine and whine.
108. Why did the wine go to therapy? To explore its deep, dark tannins.
109. What’s a wine’s favorite kink? Seductive sipping.
110. How do you know a wine is feeling frisky? It starts to bubble over.
111. Why did the wine wear fishnet stockings? To look grape and tempting.
112. What’s a wine’s favorite way to be touched? With a soft swirl and a firm grip.
113. Why did the wine blush when uncorked? It was ready for a little action.
114. What’s a wine’s favorite bedroom accessory? The silk wine stopper.
115. How do you keep a wine interested? Give it a little twist and turn.
116. Why do wines love the dark? It’s the best place for secret sips.
117. What’s the kinkiest thing about wine? It always wants to be poured out and tasted.
118. How do you tease a bottle of wine? Give it a slow uncorking and a little whisper.
119. Why did the wine get a tattoo? To show its wild side.
120. What’s a wine’s favorite way to be kissed? With a soft sip and a lingering taste.
121. Why do wines make great lovers? They know how to linger and leave you wanting more.
122. What’s a wine’s favorite game? Truth or pour.
123. How do you know a wine is naughty? It always leaves a little stain.
124. Why did the wine wear a mask? To play hard to get.
125. What’s a wine’s favorite type of foreplay? A slow swirl in the glass.
126. How do you make a wine feel loved? By giving it a gentle squeeze and a warm pour.
127. Why did the wine get a spanking? It was a little too sweet.
128. What’s a wine’s favorite kink? Being decanted and served.
129. How do you keep a wine happy? Give it a tight seal and a slow pour.
Conclusion
There you have it-129 kinky wine jokes to bring a little extra fun and flirtation to your wine experience. Whether you’re sharing these at a party, using them to break the ice, or just enjoying a private chuckle with your favorite bottle, these jokes prove that wine and humor are a perfect match. Remember, the best wine is the one that makes you smile, and these jokes are sure to do just that. So keep your glass full, your spirits high, and your jokes a little naughty!
